Skip to main content

Life with anxiety

Life with anxiety means being scared all the time. And not knowing why.
It means a constant state of fear and panic and losing control over your mind and body. Not knowing what's happening and trying to figure it out only to fail.

It means not knowing what's wrong with you and it means people telling you there's nothing wrong with you. But you know there is. Only you know it.

Life with anxiety means unfocused, unorganized, bamboozled mind and a confused , hyperactive, panicked body trying to settle each other down only to make each other worse.

It means not being able to concentrate or carry on with your daily life. Studying, working, cleaning or even hanging out with friends and family becomes impossible. Sitting with them and still not being present. Not being able to listen , not being able to focus on what everybody is saying or doing around you. Sometimes it means quitting on life and closing the curtains and isolating yourself.

Life with anxiety means sleepless nights. Life with anxiety means some nights that feel like they'll be your last. It means waking up in the middle of the night. Crying. And praying . For nothing particularly. Praying for peace. Just peace.

It means having pains that have nothing to do with your organs. Feeling like somebody stabbed you in the chest while the only thing that is really hurting you is your own mind. Your muscles hurting , when it's not the muscles hurting. Your heart aching, when it's not the heart that is aching.

It means not being able to get out of bed in the morning because your "sixth sense" tells you it's going to be a bad day. It means not being able to make the simplest decisions in your day because you don't "feel right" about them . It means making the most ridiculous excuses to cancel plans because of your "gut feeling" .

And the best part is seeking help. Spending a while trying to make people believe you. Living through labels and comments like "attention seeker' , " overly dramatic" ,"stressed out" and ,as the doctors call you, "a functional patient", and finally giving up, helping yourself ,diagnosing yourself and your pains, living through them and fixing them yourself . And then they have the audacity to ask, "why don't you seek help?" , "why don't you talk about it?" , " why didn't you tell someone? " It's because no one understands. You're only lucky if you bump into someone who listens to you and believes you and doesn't tell you to "calm down". But not everyone will help. Not everyone will understand what it's like to have a life with anxiety.

Image result for anxiety

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Will it matter?

Fruit for thought... Every now and then my parents tell me stories about their childhoods. How things used to be so different back then. How there was no such thing as a WiFi or even the concept of something called "Internet" . How making a call to a person in the other city needed a "reservation' and a man who made the call possible by connecting the two telephone lines and had the authority to listen to everything you say during the call - while secretly laughing and judging you in the mean time . Technology started advancing and having a television in the house was a luxury only some could afford. And only one in 10 or 20 houses had it. But the ones that did, had their doors open for everyone to come and watch. Desktop computers were a symbol of leisure. Owning a telephone connection was something people would grin about with pride and satisfaction . I listen to these stories and I read them everywhere from older authors comparing their then and now...

The importance of mental health

It's importance and why nobody talks about it.  Last I checked, the most common and the most under-rated medical issue of our generation was Mental Health . Shocking, I know. But if you think about it , it's actually not that surprising. Why ? Because when there's an epidemic, a viral infection going on or even just a change in the weather, everyone talks about it, they figure out a solution and it gets better. Well, mostly it does. But the only way to solve an issue is to realize its consequences and discussing it and working on it , right? If you're not going to talk about something, obviously it's not going to go away. Now I'm not saying that NOBODY talks about it. Thankfully media has contributed a lot in spreading awareness and bringing this issue into the light for people but I'm talking about the shadows. The people away from the light. I'm talking about our homes and schools and institutes- the general public. It's nearly 2019...

My thoughts about the meaning of feminism

A few days ago I saw a short film on the TV. The story revolved around a girl who had been through all kinds of problems in life, tortured by everyone around her and struggled to survive, until one day she made it. She proved herself, got everything in life, helped others around her and was happy. But was she REALLY happy though? Was the purpose of her life fulfilled though? Apparently not. Right before the story ended they added a new character. This character was a strong,successful man who was in all ways perfect for the girl. Now as perfect and happy as the ending was, it led me to think , is a woman's story never complete without a man being in it ? Does a hero always have to be necessary to make her story complete? For once, can't a woman be her own hero? The answer is no. Not where we live. We can't even make a movie with a female alone being a role model, let alone see it happen in real life. Before everyone starts throwing famous quotes and religious v...